A ffx interview, the star guest being gitaroo man
by the-suicidal-poet
Summary: Find out things you didnt really want to know about the final fantasy characters and gitaroo man pops up!


Final Fantasy X Interview By Laura Johnson  
  
Note-this interview only really makes sense if you've completed final fantasy 10 and Gitarooman.  
  
Me and Yuna are sitting in an interviewing office  
  
Me: so how do you think the final fantasy 10 project worked out on a whole, Yuna?  
  
Yunacrying: ohhh, don't remind me please! It makes me think of Tidus. Wahhhhhh! Wwaaahhhhhhh!  
  
Me: hmmm. I see your appearance has, erm, changed a bit since Final Fantasy 10.  
  
Yunastill crying: but I only put on 250pounds! It was those wild party after I defeated Sin!  
  
Me: Oh.  
  
Yuna: they lasted two years!  
  
Me: do you know how boring your being with all this moaning. I think we should invite our special guest in!  
  
Tidus Enters  
  
Tidus: Hi.  
  
Yuna: but. but. I thought you were a dream!  
  
Tidus: I am, but I've dreamed that I could dream myself back. And here I am!  
  
Me: Exactly, and after that we dragged him into this studio.  
  
Tidus: Oh my God, Yuna, you've eaten one hamburger too many!  
  
Yuna now crying louder than ever: wahhhhh! Wwaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!  
  
Tidus: so, erm, what's Lulu doing now?  
  
Me handing Tidus a porno magazine this.  
  
Tidus looks at the picture of Lulu on the front cover  
  
Tidus: Whoa, baby! Can we go see her now!  
  
Yuna: What about Me! And did you know that Lulu's already married!  
  
Tidus: Wha.? To who? Wakka?  
  
Yuna: no, sniff, she married Kimahri.  
  
Tidus: so what happened to Wakka?  
  
Me: well you see.  
  
Yunainterrupting: Wakka and Lulu were married!  
  
Me: ehem! But Lulu found out that Wakka had an affair with Dona's guardian Barthello.  
  
Yuna starts to walk away  
  
Tidus: I knew Wakka was gay!  
  
Me: Anyway Lulu turned Wakka into a blitzball.  
  
Tidus: serves him right!  
  
Me: c'mon lets go see Lulu. Inside Lulu's dressing room  
  
Me: Hey Lulu, why do you need a dressing room if you are a page three girl, you have no clothes!  
  
Tiduswalking to the bathroom to get undressed be right back.  
  
Lulu: .  
  
Tidus: so Lulu, I heard you got married to Kimahri, were is he at the moment?  
  
Lulu: Kimahri died. He had chicken pops.  
  
Tidusto himself: Yes!  
  
Tidus comes back in the room, naked  
  
Tidus: you ready for some hot sex?  
  
Lulu: Sure!  
  
so Tidus gets into Lulus bed, they have hot sex  
  
Meshouting over that squeaky bedspring soundI think I'll go and talk to Wakka.  
  
so I go and find Wakka the blitzball, and the noise still doesn't stop  
  
Me: so, Wakka, how is it being a blitzball?  
  
Wakka the blitzball: oh, ya s'ok man. 'Cept I got no balls, ya?  
  
Me: duh, so what exactly did you do to make Lulu turn you into a blitzball!?  
  
Wakka the blitzball: well.y'know.I just think men are "better" to get along with.  
  
Me: oh God.  
  
Wakka the blitzball: and Lulu found out of my affair with Barthello but never found out about the rest, ya? Me: "the rest"  
  
Wakka the blitzball: y'know, Seymour, O'aka, Chappu, Jecht and Kimahri. But, ya, I could never get Tidus.  
  
Me: you truly sick, sick bastard.  
  
Wakka the blitzball: .  
  
Me: someone get this guy, errr no, blitzball executed!  
  
Wakka the blitzball: bliztballs have feelings too.  
  
the noises from Lulus room finally stop  
  
me and Wakka decided to go into Lulus room  
  
Tidus: whoa, you really know how to do it.  
  
Lulu: ha-hah  
  
Me: erm, hi guys theses going to be an execution soon. If you want to get dressed and come then that's.wait, am I disturbing you?  
  
Puma, U-1, and Panpeus suddenly appear(from Gitarooman)  
  
Puma: no, but you're disturbing us!  
  
Tidus: who are you guys anyway?  
  
Puma: tell 'em your name U-1  
  
U-1: Ok, I'm U-1.  
  
Wakka the blitzball: hey man, red dude, ya, who are you?  
  
Panpeus: I'm Panpeus and I'm gonna chop you in half! Heh heh heh heeeehhh!  
  
Auron enters  
  
Auron: and I'll chop you into quarters! Farewell!  
  
music in the background says "overdrive alight". So Auron goes into overdrive and chops everyone in half  
  
Half Tidus: so ready for some more sex Lulu?  
  
Half Lulu: yeah, lets leave this Gitaroo man, he's just a pathetic looser.  
  
Half U-1: aaarrrggggghhhhh.... BANG!  
  
half U-1 is running is running away with half Lulu  
  
Half U-1: lets go Lulu!  
  
Silence  
  
Me: hey! Wakka! Now you don't need to be executed you're already chopped in half!  
  
Auron: I'm gonna chop you into quarters, remember.  
  
Auron chops Wakka up some more  
  
Quarter Wakka the blitzball: that hurts, ya!  
  
Auron: hmph.  
  
Auron leaves  
  
Quarter Wakka the blitzball: hey, Tidus y'know what we should do now, ya?  
  
Half Tidus: um no, not really.  
  
Quarter Wakka the blitzball: have sex!  
  
Half Tidus: oh get off it, you're a blitzball and besides, you have no balls. I'm outta here!  
  
so me and Tidus leave the four bits of Wakka blitzball behind  
  
Me: so Tidus what are your plans now that you've been chopped in half  
  
Half Tidus: I don't know.hey wait! I'm a dream so I can dream to dream my legs back.  
  
Me: oh great.  
  
Tidus' legs grow back, while Rikku enters the room  
  
Rikku: yeah, yeeaahhhhh, yyeeeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! It's my 17th birthday today!  
  
Me: so why aren't you at home celebrating with your dad and your brother?  
  
Tidus: yeah.  
  
Rikku: well you see my farther chucked me off the airship when I found him getting off with O'aka. When I landed I died, y'know!  
  
Tidus: O'aka has done it with everyone, eh? He tried to take my clothes when I first met him.  
  
Me: hmmm.so why are you here Rikku?  
  
Rikku: well you see now they got rid of all the summoners there's no one to send me to the farplane!  
  
Tidus: but seriously, that O'aka thing really creeps me out!  
  
O'aka enters the room wearing nothing except his trusty green bag, which he never takes off  
  
O'aka: Rikku, I'll give you a birthday preasant you'll never forget!  
  
Me: ok, this is getting weird! I'm outta here!  
  
I go out of the room  
  
Me: well this is Laura, who is now going to leave the final fantasy 10 characters to mess with their own affairs.I should probably go do something now. 


End file.
